Everyone has problems. No exceptions. Even the person you think is the happiest in the world has difficulties in some (or several) areas of life. Don’t think that you suffer alone because that’s not true. Don’t believe social media either, because it’s just a snapshot of everyone’s best moments, which also doesn’t correspond to reality, at least not completely.
What can help us deal with and even solve our problems is precisely sharing them with people we trust. The problem is that they are not always receptive to listening to us. So what should we do? Continue reading this article and check out some suggestions!
Why is a support network important?
When we share our difficulties with someone we trust, it is as if we relieve the pressure of having that worry only in our mind. In addition, the person who listens to us can contribute to resolving the issue, whether with practical help or with an understanding attitude of emotional support.
As we mentioned, it is also relatively common for others to identify with our own pain . They may have already gone through a similar problem, which creates a sense of identification and a feeling that we are not alone. This process strengthens us and helps us overcome life’s challenges with more energy and courage.
How do we find someone who can listen to us?
Unfortunately, people don’t always have the time or knowledge to listen to us and help us. In these situations, we feel sad and lonely , but you don’t have to put up with that. Below, check out some tips that will help you in this delicate situation.
-
Check out the most helpful people
Being selective is essential if you want to open up and share your life with someone. Not everybody must know everything about you. The best case would be selecting a family member, friend, or even a working mate who has proven themselves to be trustworthy. You can always go to the person who helped you before or the one with more experience regarding a specific problem facing you. Choose those individuals with whom you feel emotionally vulnerable and whom you feel comfortable sharing your story.
-
Choose a suitable time
In addition to carefully choosing the person who can help you, be careful about the time you choose to talk to them. If the person is having a busy or complicated day, the chances of you getting an unpleasant response increase. So, talk to the person and tell them that you would like to have a private conversation about your life, at a more relaxed time. Then, they will be able to organize themselves to listen to you more calmly and attentively, even over the phone. Be patient.
-
Avoid the obvious solutions
It often works when you seek advice from your parents or best friends when faced with adversity in life. It also means, however, that the situation you are facing may mean that these “usual” people do not understand you or know how to help you and you end frustrated. Know then that you may be surprised by people who were not your first choice. Sometimes it is going to be some cousin or a non-proper friend where you will like to be!
-
Be specific and direct
When talking to the person you choose about your difficulties, try to be clear and direct. Communicate openly, without hiding things. Admit your mistakes and difficulties. Don’t be afraid to show yourself vulnerable, because the other person also has their own adversities and flaws. Furthermore, be specific, detailing the situation and your feelings so that the person has a deep understanding of your moment. Only then will they be able to understand you and help you effectively.
-
Be open to listening too
Often, an individual outburst can turn into a very rich exchange of experiences and impressions about life. Therefore, in addition to talking, be willing to listen to what the other person has to say — opinions, advice, and even their problems. This reciprocity allows you to both help and be helped. This way, you create an environment that is more conducive to receiving support when you need it.
-
Try to write
There are some studies that indicate that we are better able to deal with our thoughts when we write them down on paper. It’s the same logic as when we vent: we “get them out” of our minds, relieving emotional tension and encouraging reasoning to find possible solutions. In this way, writing in a diary can be a very useful way to express your anxieties and even gain more self-knowledge, at least until you can vent to someone.
-
Look for support groups
People often feel more comfortable and even more confident when they meet other people who suffer from the same problem. They may be strangers who meet in one place just to share their experiences. There are many such groups, both in the physical world and on internet forums. This exchange of experiences and this identification allow you to vent and listen to other people’s complaints, sometimes helping, sometimes being helped.
-
Consider professional help
Remember that issues in life often become too complex for any friend to discuss with you. Sometimes, it is best to talk to a professional who is trained to listen to you and guide you toward a better quality of life. Psychologists, therapists, and counselors provide a safe and confidential space to tell you all about your problems and feelings without judgment. It is the source of wellness for your mind.